An Artist's Soul

Photograph of Tree - copyright Sarita Rampersad

Photo credit: Sarabay Photography

Once upon a time I wrote, I painted, I made music… I created beautiful things.

How did I get from there… to here?

Where I’m afraid to pick up my guitar, because I now fumble at a language in which I was once fluent.

I no longer draw or paint, because I don’t have the time. Or so I tell myself.

Where I lived was always an expression of me. From cushions I designed and made. Jewelry stands out of recycled cardboard, fabric and beads. Curtains that everyone would admire, not knowing they’d been recycled from discarded carnival costumes.

Slowly over years, there’s been less creating, and more… functioning.

Picking up. Packing up. Straightening.

Little bits at first.

Overwhelming in the end.

Until it’s all you know, because you’ve forgotten that you were an artist once.

Until one day you’re reminded…

Come back and play with our group. We miss you.

:)

And you smile at those decade old memories.

Until you receive a gift of a photograph, from a friend. One you’d admired but never considered hanging on your wall, because you can’t even remember when last you deliberately decorated. Left a message from your soul in a room.

Until you receive a quill from a friend. Because you are meant to write.

And you go numb.

Because you dare not cry.

Because if you start… You may not be able to stop.

So you save it til you’re alone.

And you realize… I realize… that those tears have watered a little part of my soul that had gone barren with neglect.

But there is no sadness. Because new life comes.

In this life, there are no coincidences.

On my birthday, I thank the friends who have helped me find that path again, with their laughter and kindness and faith. And with the gift of their friendship.

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Outspoken, a mother of 3 and a bit of a creative nerd. Nicole is passionate about family and social good, and blogs from Trinidad & Tobago. Download her mobile app available for Android and iPhone/iPad.

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Comments
  1. Unknown Mami

    Once an artist, always an artist.

  2. Gayletrini

    Happy Belated Birthday!
    a growing family will do that to you. Glad your friends helped you to find your creativity again.

  3. mikphire

    Just beautiful Nicole. I fell into that trap too, of practicality, which is like a pit for a dreamer. I hope your art has sprung a sapling in such love-placed gifts

    -Kim

  4. Chad

    That is truly awesome Nic. I look forward to witnessing you rising again as the artist that you are.

    • Nicole

      :) It’s a fascinating journey to be on for sure… Thank you for the inspiration!

  5. blueviolet

    You are blessed with wonderful friends!

    • Nicole

      I really am… :)

  6. Teresha@ Marlie and Me

    Happy Birthday! I hope you go create something as a gift to yourself!

    • Nicole

      Thank you sweetie! We’re moving shortly, so I just might have a great opportunity to do that!

  7. Nicole

    :p Thanks!

  8. Antony

    Looking forward to that part blossoming.

    Happy Birthday!

  9. Sarita

    Happy Birthday!!!:)

    • Nicole

      Thank u! :)

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