Smartphones and Kids – Can we protect them without spying on them?
This week I asked parents on my Facebook page what they thought were the biggest threats facing our kids online. One mother left a comment that really got me thinking.
She voiced the usual concern about the easy availability to inappropriate material online, and went on to share that, despite all the web-filtering controls she had implemented on their home PCs, a well-meaning adult had given her son an iPod Touch as a gift, and she felt she now had no control over what he chose to access on the internet.
She stumped me for a little bit. I can recommend all kinds of applications to keep your kids safely entertained online from a PC-perspective, but I’ve never given much thought to the idea of content-filtering on a smartphone level.
Not that I’ve really had to give it much thought. My children are below the age of 10, and are not allowed to have cellphones quite yet. And while I am aware of quite a few applications that bill themselves as Cellphone Spy software (the intention being to provide you with evidence of the transgressions of either your offspring or your wayward spouse), I drew a blank at smartphone web-filtering.
Parental Spy-ware?
Surely there must be a business case for it? What if evidence is not what you’re after? With smartphones getting into the hands of younger and younger children, what if your primary concern is preventing your kids from discovering and exploring the seedier side of the web in the first place?
Collecting your child’s text messages and call logs can provide important facts for discussion, especially where confrontation becomes necessary to address a child’s breaching of boundaries the family has established. But let’s not fool ourselves with smooth marketing descriptions, and call it what it is. Spying.
I’m not saying there isn’t a place for these applications. I am saying that, in my opinion, spying should neither be the first nor the only means a parent should employ.
So what’s a parent to do?
Talk about it
First of all, talk to your kids about the internet. Talk to them about their phone. Keeping the lines of communication open is the best tool in a parent’s arsenal. Odds are your child isn’t going to tell you EVERYthing, but they need to know that they can talk to you if they do encounter something that makes them uncomfortable.
Set the groundrules
Let your kids know what you expect from them, and clearly state what behaviour you find unacceptable. If you’re going to be restricting their access via web-filtering or other parental controls, let them know. You don’t have to go into specifics, but they should be aware that you’re monitoring them, especially if your going to be using any of those “spying” apps. Obviously how you go about this is going to be very different depending on the age of your child, but this is the critical difference between a child understanding that you’re monitoring their safety vs spying on their private thoughts.
Any parent of teenagers can tell you a perceived invasion of privacy can damage parent/child trust in a way that is extremely difficult to rebuild. And it makes constructive conversation almost impossible.
Consider your options
Parents of children with iPhones/iPods (Touch) will be happy to know that the folks at Apple have parental control tools built right into the devices. Here’s what you do to enable them:
ENABLING PARENTAL CONTROLS ON iPHONES/iPOD TOUCH DEVICES.
1. Go to Settings > General > Restrictions.
2. Tap to turn on the restrictions.
3. Enter a 4 digit passcode (you will be asked to confirm).
4. Disable applications/content as desired (Safari, YouTube, explicit content from iTunes, etc.)
Content Filtering
If you are looking for content-filtering apps for iPod/iPhone as well as Windows Mobile 6 and above – I’ve listed a few here.
BSecure (FREE, iPhone/iPod)
Mobicip (iPhone/iPod)
iWonder (iPhone/iPod)
CovenantEyes Mobile (Christian-based, iPhone/iPod, Windows Mobile)
SafeEyes Mobile (iPhone/iPod)
Monitoring Software
NetNanny is a trusted name in protecting children online and they offer a mobile solution with no content-filtering, but many useful monitoring features. It seems that almost every smartphone out there will be compatible with their solution, so if you’ve decided to incorporate cellphone monitoring unto your approach, they’re probably worth trying out.
Note: This article is written purely because of my concerns as a parent and family-advocate. I have no experience with any of the above solutions, but mention them here as a result of personal research. If you are a parent seeking to keep the lines of communication open with your children, some useful talking points are provided here and here.
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About Me
A 30-ish mother of 3 and unintentional entrepreneur, I started my own IT Consultancy firm after layoffs at my old job. I balance the world of Corporate IT with my life as Manager of the education, health and well-being of my children.
Blogging from the Caribbean, I give tech advice to moms and write about raising 3 kids under 10, one of whom has been diagnosed with Aspergers.
I’m glad my son is still too young for a cell phone, but it is a question I’ll have to face in the not so distant future. Thought provoking post!
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