Battle Scarred
Ok so maybe I’ve been just numb with shock over the recent homework revelations with my son.
When we discovered he’d been lying to us about doing his homework at school and his teacher having his book (I know how dumb am I, right?) I was at once so disappointed but yet not surprised. Unfortunately, I have to say I wouldn’t put it past him.
We had to deal with a similar lying incident a year ago, also school-related. For THAT one, I was all kinds of broken-up. Total mess. Tears, couldn’t look him in the eye, devasted… Just awful.
This time around… Ok he’s done it again. Terrible, but not shocking, and we’re going to again try to nip it in the bud.
I went in to pay the teacher a visit today, and as I explained to her how her words that he hadn’t been doing his homework shocked me, I relayed some of the (in retrospect) LAME EXCUSES we fell for.
And as I spoke to her, I saw her eyes widen in shock. Because he’d been telling her some very similar whoppers.
Let’s compare shall we?
To me: I did my homework already and Miss has it.
To her: I did my homework and my Mom is checking it back.
To me: I can’t find my homework notebook so you can see what homework I was assigned.
To her: I can’t find that book! I must have left it at home! (Hence he ends up with FOUR english note books).
I could go one, but really it exhausts me.
My son, the liar? I can’t fathom and I won’t tolerate it.
I think at first my brain was going “Does not compute! Does not compute!”.
How is it possible that this sweet and thoughtful child, son to a mother whose pet peeve is dishonesty, how can he be a liar? How can he have been carrying out this elaborate deception for weeks? Taking advantage in a gap in communication.
I know the question I need to ask is why… But there’s always going to be a seemingly ok Why isn’t there? Didn’t we teach him that lying isn’t ok?
He’s NINE! What’s going to happen when he faces the really tough challenges?!
Sigh…
So his teacher and I had a long long talk. We’re going to be in closer contact now. Make sure there are no communication gaps to be exploited.
I didn’t say a word to my son about what we talked about.
He saw me talking to his teacher and must have known the jig was up.
He was uber-polite all night. Did all his chores. Did his homework. Was on his BEST behaviour.
I hugged him when he his brother hit him when they were play-fighting. Patted his head when he was nodding off to sleep.
But all the while I was looking at this child with my heart breaking.
I just don’t know how to trust him again.
Am I making too big a deal of this? For me… I don’t think so…
I don’t deal well with dishonesty within my circle of trust.
I need to be able to trust my son, and I’m just at a loss at how to make that happen.
8 Responses to “Battle Scarred”
-
nancy@ifevolution says:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Leave a Reply
About Me
A 30-ish mother of 3 and unintentional entrepreneur, I started my own IT Consultancy firm after layoffs at my old job. I balance the world of Corporate IT with my life as Manager of the education, health and well-being of my children.
Blogging from the Caribbean, I give tech advice to moms and write about raising 3 kids under 10, one of whom has been diagnosed with Aspergers.