Momma always said….
My Mom always told me the best punishment I could get was to grow up and have kids of my own.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a bad kid….in my early years. 
Just kidding. I was never a bad kid, but my teenage years? I admit I was more than a handful.
In my defense, I had a lot going on. Absentee father, stepfather FAIL (twice), not to mention the fact that my mom and I are just two very different creatures. I was the social butterfly, very adventurous and always out and about. My mom was, and still is, pretty much a recluse. Which made for a LOT of clashes. So when she wished “little versions of [me]” on me, I thought Yeh! Bring it on!
When I was little, I was a really good kid. I was obedient and kind and I loved being helpful. What I didn’t realize is just how precocious I was. I was a smart kid and I had to know lots. Which meant lots of exploring and asking lots of questions. Lots of questions.
I questioned everything. I couldn’t just accept any old answer. Especially if I thought it was the wrong answer.
It’s not that I remember these things vividly. It’s that they come back to me as I look at my oldest boy. He. Is. Me. He is the sweetest, kind hearted little fella, with the wisest little soul. And he thinks he’s the protector.
But he gives me a run for my money. I try to encourage him, but I also try to teach him how to be respectful in his debates, to look inward before looking out, assume nothing and to listen with more than his ears. He’s so sure of himself he gets a little edge of arrogance that he’s got to manage. That’s going to be fun in about 5 years…. (someone really should design a sarcasm font…)
The other day my friend told me a quote she’d heard:
deciding to be a mother is deciding to let ur heart live outside of u for the rest of your life
I think that’s the hardest part of this so-called “punishment”. It’s watching my mini-me go through the hurt and disappointment that we all go through. To look on as he makes his mistakes, or encounters life’s jackasses… To share his heart through the pain… That’s the hard part. But one I gladly accept.
I’m writing this as part of Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. It’s not really on target for prompt #1, but hey… I’m a rebel, remember? You should definitely check her out. Maybe even write something? Come on – it’s fun!
One Response to “Momma always said….”
Leave a Reply
About Me
A 30-ish mother of 3 and unintentional entrepreneur, I started my own IT Consultancy firm after layoffs at my old job. I balance the world of Corporate IT with my life as Manager of the education, health and well-being of my children.
Blogging from the Caribbean, I give tech advice to moms and write about raising 3 kids under 10, one of whom has been diagnosed with Aspergers.
Gawd, it's so hard, isn't it? I just have one kid but of course he's like me in all the ways that make me the craziest …white lies, dogged nagging and lazy? Hoo-boy!! But, even though I can't always love myself, I always love that little cuss … in the end, it might even equal a little self-acceptance!
Great post … thanks for bringing that to the fore!
Here from SITS, btw. Congrats on your big day!